Even the white subtitle reminds me of a certain someone. Saturday, November 12, 2011
She Has Her Own Book!
Yesterday I went to a Goodwill store. (That's a thrift store which sells secondhand stuff.) While browsing the book section I found one I just had to buy because of the title. I've scanned the cover rather than taking a picture so it will be a better image.
Even the white subtitle reminds me of a certain someone.
Even the white subtitle reminds me of a certain someone. 
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15 comments:
Heheheh OoOoohh!!... Yeah, I think I know that certain someone that you know too.. haha LOL!! :P
Geez! I never Knew that I had my own book! wow xD.. uhh you really need to tell me later whats it about, cause I'm really curious now.. hehehe xD
I also have a lot to tell you about.. So, see you later my little bear. :) I love you!!<3
Hey there, Miss Rule Breaker. :)
Well, I read this review of the book, http://www.teenreads.com/reviews/the-alison-rules and I'm not sure if I'm ready to handle what it's about.
I've been waiting in TS for you but it's time for me to go to bed now. She you soon I hope. I love you! <3 <3 <3
Hi there my lovely bear. :)
Awww... geez: I miss you!!<3
I didn't really slept well lastnight... was kind of a bit too excited or something.. I really need to tell you all about it.. lol xD.. Ok I'm going to check the review of the book and let you know what I think about it..
I hope to see you soon again. I love you too, so much!<3 <3 <3
Hi there my honey babe. :)
After reading the review and thinking about what I said, I've decided that I prolly should read the book and just deal with my emotions. Maybe it will make a good difference. I don't know.
Anyhow, I laid in bed for a while reading and I'm up to chapter 7 (page 80). So far it's a pretty good read. Alison has some strange quirks about how she faces life which I can relate to. I'm glad I read the review ahead of time or it would be frustrating trying to understand why she is the way she is. Knowing while I read and I can see similarities to how I tried to cope. There are clues in what she says that an astute reader could pick up and deduece that her mom had died. The book reviewer may have missed them or, because I already know from reading the review, I'm able to pick up on them and might not have otherwise.
Ok. Well, it looks like I'm starting to ramble. I'll quit for now. So let's see, it's late afternoon for you now. I'll pop into TS and see if you can drop in. I love you too! <3 <3 <3
Hey again.
I've got a few minutes while I sneak online. I'm up to chapter 13 (page 129). It's still pretty good, but it's more like random events in Alison's daily life. From school to interactions with her best friend Laurie to things developing with Patrick (the guy who transfered into their school late in the school year). And each time Alison reacts a bit oddly.
I can tell she is afraid to face many things in life from going places that she and her mom used to go (like the pizza place a few chapters ago) to being scared to have feelings for someone (Patrick) or just not allowing herself to have fun as if it would tarnish her mom's memory. At this point in the book it's been six months since her mom died. We know this from the guidence counsoler's comment when he asked how she was coping. She, of course, had a panic attack and didn't want to talk about it. She told him what he wanted to hear so she could get out of there.
Anyhow, in the last chapter she has almost opened up to Patrick to tell him, but is still afraid to talk about the past.
Hi there, my little bear. :)
Well it is quite interesting.. but I hope you're being ok when reading the book... I wouldn't want you to be upset or anything. Just enjoy it all the while you read.. :)
I think I'm going to search for that book too here.. and if its not available, then I'll search for it online.. or else I'll wait for you to finish it and then tell me about it.. lol ;) (tho it might not be the same)
Anyway.. Have a nice day/evening.. ;) I love you, my dear angel.<3 <3 <3
(P.S I'll try to be online later, but I can't promise since by the time, I'll have to get ready to go and get my results at school.)
Hi there, my honey babe. :)
So far I'm sort of ok while reading it. Oh, and a correction: When I was at chapter 13 it was page 143 not 129. I didn't have the book with me and I mis-remembered. So, now I'm up to chapter 18 (page 195).
Patrick has tried (and failed) to get Alison to go on a date with him, insisting that she doesn't call Laurie to come along like has happened each time before. Alison turns him down even tho she wants to go. She is terrified of becoming close to anyone and Laurie does want to date Patrick so Alsion doesn't want to cause trouble. She manages to (poorly) convey this to Patrick. He leaves mad and then is dating Laurie and the both of them are basically ignoring Alison now. Later these 3, along with the rest of the school newspaper staff, go on a field trip to Boston. Alison has severe reservations about going because of what happened there last time with her mom. Once in Boston, Laurie starts telling Patrick all about Alison's mom and what happened. Alison feels betrayed and tries to get Laurie to stop. She leaves the group, takes a bus back home only to find her dad and younger brother putting all of her mom's clothes in garbage bags. She has a fight with her dad and is now alone in her room. She is not happy.
I appreciate your concern of not wanting me to get upset. That's not likely considering the subject matter. I can, however, be strong and endure the pain and not ignore it. I can't begin to explain what it's like for someone who hasn't lost a parent. Facing the facts, as I suspect the girl in the story will be doing soon, is the only way I know how to deal with it. It hurts like hell and I've had to put the book down from crying, but I tried the "put it out of my mind" bit for a very long time and that didn't work either.
Good luck with your school results. I love you too! <3 <3 <3
Hey again, my concerned martian girl. :)
Ok, so I've finished the book. Tho I didn't mention it, Alison and Laurie had a verbal fight in Boston with each saying hurtful things to the other. Now it's a week later. Alison has quit the school paper and has been avoiding Laurie and Patrick. She's at home and trying to be "normal" and watch movies with her Dad and brother when Laurie comes over. They go up to Alison's room and a new fight begins. Laurie let's her have it full force, telling Alison how difficult she is to be around because of trying not to ever mention things Alison doesn't want to deal with. It goes on more, but I'll not give the details so you can read it for yourself when you get the book. The horrible tragedy that comes later that night is particularly unpleasant and terribly sad. I threw the book across the room and couldn't finish reading for quite some time.
Now here is the strange part. I'm glad I read it. Laurie's words ring so true for me. I've been "Alison" in many of the same ways. I've made it difficult for others since they feel uncomfortable around me not knowing what to say or do. I would recommend this book to any teen who has lost a parent but I'd say they shouldn't read it until 6 months or a year after.
Well hi there, my dear little bear. :)
I'm glad that you've finished the book tho a little sad that you couldn't quite read it at some point at the end... I prolly don't understand the pain you've been thru from losing your mom, but I can easily imagine how hard it is to lose someone so close and dear.. after all, a loss is a loss.. its always very hard, tho some might be harder than others. I just wish I could make it less painful for you when you were reading the book as well as the other obstacles you've been thru.
*Alice hugs and kisses Jessie softly on her forehead.*
Ok.. oh and btw.. I've passed, so now I'm moving up to upper 6 next year.Yayy!! xD ^^ (I was a bit sad tho for my cousin who couldn't make it there cause her marks wasn't enough.. u.u). I hope she'll feel better soon..
Anyway.. I'll be online later, for now tho I'm going to watch Twilight: Chapter 1: Facination on one of the satellite channel. ^^ See you later, my angel. I love you!<3 <3 <3
*Jessie snuggles in close with Alice, holding on tightly as she bursts out with tears. Jessie doesn't try to hold back her feelings, the emotional explosion expressing her frustration at some things in her life. Her chest heaves as she takes deep, sobbing breaths.*
Ok. Sorry about that. I do get overwhelmed with my emotions sometimes and I let them out. I think it helps me because I'm not holding the pain inside. You are quite right that "a loss is a loss". I know I don't have some exclusive on that. In the book, Laurie goes on for a few pages about that exact thing. She (correctly) accuses Alison of not trying, of not talking about her mom, of not dealing with how she feels and making it hard for anyone else to get close to her. I've been thru that stage. It doesn't work tho it takes time to realize that. At least it did for me and I'm still struggling with it so I guess I'm not really "thru" this stage. But I can talk about mom now. The good or the bad. I don't shy away from it. I do admit that I well up with tears sometimes and I still have guilty feelings now and then when I find myself happy, as if I'm not allowed to.
In some ways I've become detached from myself, observing my emotions and actions, watching myself withdraw from people when I know I'm making them uncomfortable because of how I'm behaving. This book brought a lot of my internal struggles to the surface again. I have to believe that's ok and in the long run it will help. I'm silly enough to believe that some coincidences occur for a reason. Like I just happened to have some extra time for lunch that day. I just happened to decide to go into the thrift store. I just happened to see a book with that particular title. And I just happened to buy it without skim reading it to see what it was about. And it just happened to be a jolt to my emotions that makes me re-examine my life and how I deal with things. So, just a coincidence? I think not.
Thank you my dear, real Alison for being here with me thru this. I hope I haven't made you feel too uncomfortable. I've tried to express myself as honestly as I can so you can see more of the real me.
Oh, and on to your good news: Yay! I'm so happy you passed your tests and are advancing to upper 6 next year. I knew you would. I have faith in you. *Jessie dances around with Alice, singing praises for her.*
(I prolly won't be able to stay awake until you get up this morning. I didn't try to last night since you said you'd be rushing off to get your results.) See you soon sometime. I love you, my darling. <3 <3 <3
*Alice cuddles tightly with Jessie while she gently strokes her back in comforts.*
Hey there, my little angel. :)
Know that you did nothing wrong.. Actually I've never really been uncomfortable around you.. Ok, true, I did feel quite sad and pained even when I first heard of what you've been thru(that is when we first met and that I was quite silly enough to push you a bit for being on msn and such).. but then you told me why you were so reserved and I even tho at first I was a bit uhh stubbporn.. I did quite understand and I still regret those time that you got upset because of me... I do really want to take those pain away from you, even if its little by little.
I'm not going to blame you for being who you are, I love you the way you are. But, I also want to help you in any possible way... Oh and please.. Don't even think that you don't deserve happiness again, cause its not true. Everyone deserves to be happy in life and I'm sure that your mom would agree with me on that. I don't think she'd like it to see you hurt and struggling like that.. At least from the conversation we've had about her, the way you talked about her with me.. I know that she was a good person which is why I think she'd rather like you be happy and enjoying life than struggling.
Oh, and I don't mind if you let out your emotions.. Its a good thing, really.. I on the other hand should learn to do that more..
Besides, I want you not to hide it from me.. I want to share everything with you and I want you to do the same with me, your joy, laugh, tears, pain.. everything. Its you that want and I'm glad that you can open up to me. Know that I'll always be here for you, my darling.
There's no need to thank me, really.(But you're still very much welcome)I want to be there for you.<3
I also don't think that buying that book was a coincidence.. I think it was so that you could realise your "mistakes"? (I'm not sure since for me, you didn't do anything wrong).. well, whatever it is that you call it, so that you could try to make a difference in your life after..(my opinion)
Thank you for having faith in me, I prolly lack some self esteem, myself haha... But, I'm glad that I have you in my life.. no, I'm more than glad, really.. You are my little angel, my inspiration and my happiness and so much more... I love you so very much, my darling angel.<3 <3 <3
See you soon again sometimes. Please take care.<<333 :)
*Jessie yawns, stretches, rubs her eyes and is so happy to see such nice comments from her girlfriend.*
Just a quick, sleepy hello. I left my computer on when I went to bed and I'm passing by cause I had to go pee. I do totally agree that it's ok for me to be happy and definately yes, mom would want that too. I was just admiting what my emotions do to me sometimes, the feeling guilty about being happy. It's not that it happens very often now cause it was more right after she died. Well for a year or so. I don't know how to explain it, but it just felt wrong to be happy about anything. I guess it was like I felt as if I didn't miss her or had forgotten her or something. My brain understands this is crazy and that is most definately not what mom would want. So, yeah, I agree with you. Now we just need to gang up on my heart and convince it. :p
*Jessies yawns some more and climbs back into bed with Alice, snuggling close and feeling safe with her.*
Hi there little bear. :)
Well, I'm just droping by o say a little "hello" and to let you know that the internet is being nuts again.. ugh! so yeah, I'm using dad's laptop for now.. So I don't think I'll be able to be on TC tonight, depending if the internet works again or not...
Well, I hope to see you soon again. have a nice evening. I love you!<3 <3 <3
Hi there. :)
Good news.. The internet is working again. Yayy!! ^^
So, well if it'll still work later then you might see me on TC.. if not, then it ain't working again.. well, I hope you're having a nice day so far. :) I love you! Hope to see you soon, my love. <3 <3 <3
Hi back. :)
Yay! For internet. Boo for me being about to fall asleep in my chair. *Jessie Hugs and kisses Alice* I love you too. <3 <3 <3
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